Turkey Trot

It’s a relaxed 10:30am start for today’s Turkey Trot Half Marathon. L thinks I’m probably a little too relaxed.

The only problem with the 10:30am start is that it means I’ve had to choose between the run and Derby v Forest which kicks off at noon. Obviously it didn’t kick off at noon when I booked the race but that’s Sky TV for you. The run wins though, as I’ve been waiting for years to get an entry in to this sold out race.

The start is at the South Wolds School in Keyworth where they have t-shirts for sale with everyone’s name on the back. Which is a cunning ploy and obviously I have to have one. I assume that means there isn’t one at the finish but apparently they have different mementos each year.

The course is a big loop through what I believe is known as the South Nottinghamshire Wolds taking in the villages of Wysall, Willoughby-on-the-Wolds and Widmerpool with a few undulations on the way.

The biggest undulation is the one at three miles just before Wysall, the rest is pleasantly teasing and I enjoy the terrain. Obviously it’s not going to be a fast course but I’m still a little disappointed with my time of 1:46 but then I haven’t done any training other than a few parkruns. I'm probably more annoyed with it because the race seems to have pulled a very fast field.

This year’s memento turns out to be a medal, trust me to pick this year. Then it’s mince pies and a cuppa before being reunited with my loyal supporters, L and the boys.

East Leake Night Trail

I head to the Derby Runner at lunchtime to try to get either a replacement battery pack for the broken head torch or a brand new head torch. They don’t have any battery packs and the choice of just one pretty basic head torch. So, it’s Hobson’s choice. Either take the horse in the stall nearest the door or none at all. I ride off into the sunset with my new steed.

Tonight it's the Night Trail at East Leake. This starts at 7pm, so it’s a case of a quick change at home and then back out again to the start at Rushcliffe Golf Club. Finding the golf club in the dark countryside proves to be the hardest part of the evening.

The run itself, for saying I’m not an off-road person, goes really well. The five mile route takes in a mix of bridal pathways, loose surface footpaths and sections over grassy fields. Naturally I lose my footing several times but unlike last time I ran at night on the Thunder Run I remain vertical.

It is well marked and well marshalled although most of the glow sticks along the route seem to lack the vital ingredients of glow. I also remember seeing signs for the water station at around half way but didn’t actually see the station itself. On reflection perhaps the three people stood by a parked car was it but it wasn’t obvious and my then it was too late to go back. 

At the finish we get a very nice medal, if you like that sort of thing and amazing I come in 13th out of 90. Wow.

There were rumours of a bar but the golf club has been booked for a private function and I don't think muddy runners are not invited so we head home.

Shepshed 7

Today I run my first Shepshed 7 since 2010. I ran 48:22 back then in those halcyon dizzy height days.

The event is organised by Shepshed Running Club and amounts to two laps through the private grounds of the Garendon Park Estate with the start at the High School. It was never my favourite race due to the terrain which consists of a grass section at the start, a few tarmac bits but mostly the course is on gravel paths where the gravel is effectively small boulders. These, if you are running in inappropriate footwear e.g. thin soled lightweight road shoes, are a bit like running on a bed of nails e.g. I have the wrong footwear.

As I compete the first lap someone hands me a plastic cup of water which disintegrates on touch and cascades down the front of my shirt. So that was no help. What I really needed was someone to hand me my PB dog to pace me round the second circuit.

I am actually pleased with my time, despite it being three whole minutes down on 2010, as I went through 10k at an acceptable 45 minutes.

The race is a 500 person sell out although only 429 brave the rather cold grim conditions. In a nice touch it even starts raining just as we finish. We all thaw out afterwards with coffee in the Home Economics room of the school. That is, if they still call it Home Economics?

Run For All Sheffield 10k

The clocks go back this morning so this gives us an extra hour in bed to mentally prepare ourselves or otherwise for today’s Sheffield 10k. This is a different Sheffield 10k to the Great Run organised one and is run by Run For All, they of the Jane Tomlinson Foundation, and it’s sponsored by Asda.

These folk also organised the Sheffield Half which I ran earlier this year and the course takes the same route out along Ecclesall Road but then instead of disappearing up a big hill into the Peak District it skirts around Endcliffe Park before return back along Ecclesall Road.

Despite the omission of the ‘Peak District’ this is still a seriously undulating route and a real challenge. Although the biggest challenge of all is keeping up with the 45 min pacer which shouldn’t really have been a problem for me considering my current form.

The pacer, however, sticks to his 4:30 per km pace with metronomic precision even on the kilometres that are completely uphill. This means that his initial group of around 30 runners is gradually reduced attritionally to, well, probably nothing. I'm guessing here as I hung on longer than most but couldn’t stay the distance either.

The inverse of this is that when the course starts heading downhill later on he is hamstrung by his 4:30 pace meaning most of us catch him and pass him. I finish in 44:55, so who needs dodgy pacers. Perhaps we should have paced him?

After I have finished, I notice there is no queue at the massage tent which is a rare thing indeed. I quickly go and get my rucksack back from the baggage area, which works seamlessly this time, then I sign up for a session on my calves. I must say that I get outstanding service from Sheffield Hallam’s physiotherapy department who supply a girl for each leg and it’s well worth the £2 charity donation I give them.

Just a word for the goodie bag which was excellent and weighed down with snackie things.

Leicester Half Marathon

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It’s the Leicester Half Marathon today and my third time of competing in it. The course remains unchanged, on road until almost half way then back through parkland before a final bit through the city centre and the climb up the only real hill on the whole course.

I do love this race which feels like a really small time race even though it’s a 'big city' one. It could really do with a big sponsor\organiser to come in and move it on a bit. There is huge potential here, numbers could easily be doubled I would think, for what is very underrated race.

Throughout the race my pace is almost identical to last year’s, at each split I’m hitting almost the same time. Last year I did 1:40:01, so this year having dragged myself up that final mile uphill it’s a case of leg it as hard as I can once the course flattens out again around mile 13.

I’m not usually one for a sprint finish and this one almost finishes me off. I tumble over the line and collapse in a heap on the tarmac. My watch says 1:39:59 but what does the official timing say?

It isn’t until much later that I get confirmation that I have indeed managed to drag this ageing body over the line in under 100 minutes. Albeit by just one second. If the drinks at the feed stations hadn’t been in cups I’d probably have broken it more easily.

The multitude of data I then gets tells me of an average speed of 7.86 mph, pace 7:37 min/mile,

VO2 max estimated at 45.1 (ml/kg/min) and really bizarrely a chip time as 21-29 year-old of 01:29:11. WTF. How the hell do they work that out?

Are they telling me that if I’d been doing half marathon’s 20 years ago I’d be breaking the holy grail of 1:30? B******s. That's a bizarre statistic that I didn't need to know. 

L says it would've been more handy if they're predicted my race time in 10 years’ time. I’m not convinced, I’d just end up killing myself to prove it was wrong.

Stilton Stumble

Today we head off to Cropwell Bishop for a tour of the local cheese production area, namely the villages of Colston Bassett, Long Clawson and of course Cropwell Bishop itself. This is the Stilton Stumble in the home of Stilton Cheese and it comes in both a 10k and a 24k variety.

I would like to give the 24 a shot one day but with the Leicester Half Marathon next weekend, and the Derby Half still in my legs from last weekend, it’s just the 10 for me today. As it is for L.

It’s a somewhat soggy start at the Memorial Hall in Cropwell Bishop and nobody really wants to get stripped off too early. Perhaps the weather will improve once we get started? 

It doesn’t, it gets worse and a torrential downpour a few miles in is refreshing to say the least. The sun does finally come out, when we’ve finished.

By then I’ve been handed my block of Stilton, which is much much better than a medal, and I'm giving Doggo a leg up over a wall to get him in a good supporting position to bark L over the line.

Derby City Half Marathon

It’s the second running of the Derby City Half Marathon today which starts from Derby University. In my opinion it has a far better route than the better known Ramathon but pulls a fraction of the field, only 460 finishers today. This is mainly due, I think, to the fact that no one knows about it because it is barely advertised compared with the heavily promoted Ramathon.

The route has had a few tweaks since last year presumably to ease the traffic congestion. The first part is again a lap of Markeaton Park before heading through the city centre which is followed by a long drag through Pride Park to get to Alvaston Park then a long drag back along the river.

There was a definite attempt to keep us off the roads this year and this meant a surprise section on grass through Darley Park. I will pack my trail shoes next time.

Drinks seem to be short supply with the second drinks station at 6 miles and the third at 11 miles, which was a long time to go without a drink. They’d also left one poor bloke on his own to man it.

The mile markers were a problem last year and they didn’t look any more accurate this year either. At mile 11 I appeared to be on course for a corking time of 1:38. The next mile which was all uphill out of Darley Park put paid to this as this mile took me nine minutes but that still left me on course to break 1:40. Sadly the last mile again seem to be super long despite being mostly downhill and I finished in a devastating 1:42:08.

Probably not too devastating though as its two minutes quicker than last year. Onwards now to Leicester in two weeks’ time. Sadly I think they gave me the same medal as last year, the t-shirt was quite good though.

Shelton Striders 10k

It’s the Shelton Striders 10k today which a race I’ve not done for quite a while and I’ve not done it at all since it moved to its new home at Boulton Lane Park Community Centre.

The race starts on the old canal path before heading off towards Sinfin, doing a bit of a loop which included the new road to what I think they call Infinity Park before returning to Shelton Lock where it finishes again on the canal path.

L runs with the 65 minute pacer and almost goes under 65. I am just over 46 minutes, which is a bit disappointing. A 45 would have been nice.

Robin Hood Half Marathon

My morning as a fully paid up VIP goes well with tea/coffee laid on pre-race and two dedicated toilets for all the VIP crowd which includes the Elites. Ok, so that bit wasn’t so good and I opted to join the standard loo queues with the masses because it was quicker.

The course itself runs ok despite my misgivings about the organisers cutting out the University and adding in two dead turns instead. L, the dogs and my father are all at Crown Island so they get to cheer me past twice which is much appreciated. The second time I’m desperately trying to hang onto the coat tails of the 1:30 pacer which I fail to do. However my time is still good as I clock 1:43, which I’m actually thrilled with, on what is a well hilly course.

In the VIP tent afterwards there’s plenty of food, drinks, a massage and I get a free race photo as well. So overall it’s quite a good deal if you want all that.

Sadly a short review as Sunday 25^th September was a very busy and traumatic day due to the death of a close family member. The race soon started to pale into insignificance as the events of the rest of the day started to unfold.

Calke Abbey 10k

 Today we are at Calke Abbey for Jack Rabbit Events’ 10k. After we’ve picked up our race numbers, is the five minute walk uphill to the start.

The race then starts on a downhill stretch which means of course that what goes down must come back up, which of course it does and this pretty much sets the tone for the whole course. The word 'undulating' just doesn't adequately describe it. So definitely not a PB course nor one that is kind on anyone with dodgy calves (like me).

The route then circumnavigates Staunton Harold Reservoir, sticking to the main road and touching on Melbourne, before returning to Ticknall and back into the Calke Abbey estate. The last couple of miles is through Calke Abbey's grounds which no doubt some folk will tell you is scenic and I suppose it is but it's also along a long straight rather dull tarmac driveway which is also quite busy with traffic.

My time of 47 minutes reflects the undulating nature of the course. Well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. At the finish we get a nice big medal (if you like medals) but no t-shirt. Overall though, not a bad race and very well organised.

I bump into a person I know whose Son has won the race and his brother came 10^th. Well that put me in my place.

Salford 10k

Firstly I apologise to MD. I had booked him into a dog show today but instead he, along with Doggo, is being dumped in a multi-story car park in Salford. They are at least incarcerated in what they call MediaCityUK where both the BBC and ITV have studios as his errant owners prepare to run the Salford 10k.

It’s not all bad for them though. Both dogs get to wee in the Blue Peter garden while I meet Pudsey Bear and L gets to stand outside the Rover Return. Daughter comes along to support and even seems to enjoy herself.

It's fairly well organised but there was a distinct lack of useful stalls in the race village e.g. nothing athletically minded so there was nowhere to get an energy bar from. I had to have chocolate instead! It was also a right scrum getting into the start pens but I managed to cram myself in somewhere near the front eventually.

The route takes us past the Lowry, the Imperial War Museum, Old Trafford football ground and Salford Quays from where we have done the Great Swim. I only notice some of these places because obviously I am too focused on my race.

It’s a fairly flat traffic free course but it’s also quite twisty and rather dull. I particularly objected to spending a whole km running around Manchester United’s car park. Mile marking could also have been better but overall it's a decent training run with an ok t-shirt and the usual cheap medal. I’m a bit disappointed with my time being a minute down on the Castle Rock 10k and into the 46s but the main thing is that I’m still not injured.

Kirkwall Half Marathon

While holidaying on Orkney we head to the capital, Kirkwall, where the most secretive race known to man is being held. This is the Kirkwall Half Marathon that rather quaintly you can only enter by post and cheque. It does have a Facebook page but this has no link to the organiser. I did eventually manage to get hold of the guy by good old landline and he promised me a place.

Half an hour before start time there is still no one in sight at the Pickaquoy Leisure Centre where it starts, then suddenly everyone appears and I sign up. It’s a bargain £8.

Although the race now clearly exists I’m a bit worried about signage as the race briefing consists of the locals being told which side roads have roadworks on them. As the field of 40 depart on a rolling but enjoyable course I’m not totally convinced we will have such standard features as signage and marshals but I needn’t have worried as we have both, even water stations and mile markers.

I finish in a good time, in 19th place which is later bumped up to 18th when someone is disqualified. Oooh controversial, I know not why.

The t-shirt isn’t red, isn’t long sleeved and doesn’t have a turtle on the front. This is because there is no t-shirt. I also don’t get a crap medal because there is no medal. There are however countless plates of sandwiches and cakes along with tea and coffee, so I’m not complaining.

Castle Rock 10k

I have entered this evening’s Castle Rock 10k, which was known for most of its existence as the Jagermeister 10k. it is basically two laps of the campus at Nottingham University. It’s not particularly thrilling and certainly not flat but it’s a good workout.

It’s also a workout I need. Amazingly I’m feeling uninjured and slightly confident for it. Probably won't last though.

I take the bus to work and then hop off outside the Uni on my way home. I collect my number and then commence a huge warm up which is all about calf preservation. L informs me she is on the way up with the dogs, which could take a while given Doggo’s elderly gait. She also tells me to make it quick as she wants to get back for the opening ceremony of the Olympics. I sincerely hope she’s got her times mixed up as I believe due to the time difference it doesn't start until midnight.

The race HQ is on the grassland opposite the Sports Centre where it usually starts. The Sports Centre is closed and being rebuilt yet again. This seems to be almost an annual occurrence so soaked in money these Unis appear to be these days.

We set off and I soon see L and the boys by the Nottingham sign offering vociferous support. 

She shouts that one of our Thunder Run team mates is just ahead, so I put on a spurt and catch him. We exchange ‘pleasantries’ before I move on ahead, now of course feeling under pressure to stay there.

I try to maintain 45 minute pace all the way around and although at one point I was hopeful of dipping under that, it is what I ultimately achieve. I've got to be happy with that after running a 49 just a month ago at NotFast.

We skip the, not very tempting, Harvest Pale and head home. Ceremonies to watch and all that.

(Friday 5^th August)

Thunder Run

This morning we head off to join our team mates at Catton Park for the Thunder Run where they seem to have been in residence for months but it’s only actually been 24 hours. I think they suspect we’re not coming but we don’t let folk down, only ourselves occasionally and the people who organise the Leeds Half. Which we both bailed on but they probably didn’t notice.

We pitch our tent, meet our team of eight known collectively as the Unbr8kables and then head off to the race briefing where again there is no mention of an allocated holding area where you can store your dogs while you do the hand over. It would have been nice for L and I to run consecutively but given this organisational omission we are allocated places three and five in the running order.

The weather is already quite warm and the midday sun beams down as the race kicks off with a spectacular mass start at 12 noon. Our lead out man puts a marker down with a 53 minute lap and battle has commenced.

I have no idea how many teams are in the event but there are over 250 in the teams of eight category alone. As well as the eights there are teams of five and then there are the real nutters. Those doing it in pairs and those doing it solo.

By the time I do my first lap at 2:15, which is a little later than I’d predicted with runner number two doing a more leisurely 80 minute lap, it seems incredibly hot. The first problem though is not the heat but recognising my team mate who I only met a few hours before and has since changed her running top. Eventually when it becomes clear no one else is going to take the baton off the girl who is standing there looking lost and confused as well as knackered I do. I just hope that was my team mate who slammed the snap band (the baton) onto my arm.

During my lap the heat does takes its toll as a hilly 10km off-road course. It’s enjoyable though and it nice the way the route meanders through the campsites enabling good support to be available across most of it. I am also hampered by making the wrong shoe choice, perhaps the trail shoes that I’ve never ran further than the length of a dog agility course in were not the best selection on such hard baked ground. Standard cushioned running shoes might have been wiser.

I come in with a foot full of blisters but even that could probably have been prevented had it not been for the schoolboy error of not lacing them up tightly enough. The time though is 50:35 and the dodgy calf is fine. Get in.

Now just what did the girl I was handing over to look like? Not this one, or this one, or... hmmm, she’ll do. Now I’ve either performed two successful changeovers or we’re about to be disqualified. As I meet up again with L, she doesn’t seem alarmed at who I’ve just tagged into the race so hopefully it’s the former.

I’m buzzing after my run and feel like I’d like to go around again asap but it’s a minimum of eight hours to my next lap.

It’s so hot now that even L is drinking fluids and she has purchased a ‘Secret Training’ bottle which comes with free refills of watermelon or lemon and lime or mango and others. Then after a 60 minute lap from whoever I tagged in its L’s turn. Will her ankle hold up? I’m not sure if she’s ran this weekend by her physio but I guess what she doesn't know won't hurt her. I wave L off and then head off to get a ham and cheese roll from the car to perk myself up.

L does well with a 74 minute lap and then we can both chill for a bit. We visit the Shardlow Brewery’s bar which is aboard a Routemaster Bus. We daren’t drink too much and instead head back to the car to heat up some pasta for our evening meal.

I was hoping for a second lap at around 10pm based on us averaging 60 minute laps but that was a bit optimistic and I start my second lap at 11:35pm, by which time it’s a lot cooler. This time the girl who is running before me gives me a fashion show before she sets off, showing me her brightly coloured ‘wasp’ attire so I shouldn’t miss her this time and I don’t. What we really need is an inflatable haddock like some of the other teams have which clearly identifies them to all and sundry.

We purchased some really good head torches a few years ago and these really come into their own this weekend, lighting up the course brilliantly. It had been suggested that carrying a hand torch as well would be useful but I certainly didn’t need one. All the same I stalk a girl who was running at about my pace so that I can use her light as well as mine.

The only problem was that when I stopped for drink at the water station at halfway she didn’t. I downed my drink quickly and sprinted off after her but then we headed into a narrow wooded section where a slower run got between us. I saw her in the distance getting further and further away. Bugger. I eventually squeezed past the other runner, upped my pace and then went down like a Premiership footballer looking for a penalty. Where did that tree root come from? Well actually they are everywhere and I just wasn’t paying attention.

My battery pack becomes detached and it takes me a while to reassemble everything. Then I have to pass the same runner again, the girl meanwhile is long gone or so I thought. I now run my own race and probably run quickly, then about 2k before the finish I pass the girl and leave her for dust coming home in 54:30. Not bad at all. Again I’m itching to go around again having really enjoyed my night time lap.

Now it would be great to get a bit of kip as its half past midnight, and almost my bedtime, but L is off out in an hour. So it is not until L gets back around 3am that we finally turn in. I get around four and a half hours sleep before I’m up again and ready to run again at 9:30am.

It’s cooler this morning and light of course, which all makes for a really enjoyable last lap. The on course support and camaraderie has been great throughout, even at night, from both those watching and those actually on the course running. This time I get round in 53:39 and tag girl four who is tasked with getting round in enough time for L to start the team’s last lap before 12 noon and bring it home. Naturally she is terrified about this prospect but she sets off with twenty minutes to go before noon giving her plenty of time to soak up the atmosphere.

Those of us without dogs (e.g. not me) join her for the last stretch and all cross the line together. The team has done 21 laps between us, that’s 210km. Which is a pretty good effort.

So were the Unbr8kables broken? Not a bit of it. We would not be broken. In fact my calves survived 30k and L’s ankle maybe 30k worse off but she’s still walking, just.

We had tentatively thought about doing it as a pair next year but I’m not sure that will happen, a five would be nice though.

Notfast 10k

Today we drag ourselves out of bed, albeit slowly, and head off to Newark to run the Notfast 10k which starts and finishes at Newark Rugby Club. Oddly L reverses our pre-race/post-race routines, so we’ll see how that pans out.

We did this race a couple of years ago. It was quite warm then and it is again today, so we leave the boys at home. It’s not the most exciting of courses but we’re both using it as Thunder Run preparation. L to try and increase her mileage, me to just check nothing is going to snap. I think on that front we can both class it as a success.

That said, I’m not really impressed with my time, of course. The clock was just ticking over from 48:59 to 49:00 when I crossed the line which is almost the same as I ran here two years ago. The red t-shirt is also less than impressive but it’s a well organised race with plenty of water stops and my favourite thing, a sponge stop. I’m easily pleased.

Columbia Threadneedle ITU World Triathlon Leeds

The day starts very early with a 4am alarm call and a very early breakfast for the dogs who are staying a home today. Which is a very good call considering what is to come.

Once we get to Leeds things don’t start off terribly promisingly. The organisers have actively encouraged everyone to park at Roundhay Park, and we made use of the free car park yesterday, but today due to the road closures we can’t find an access route into it and there are no signs. We ask two marshals but neither have a clue as they are both from Manchester and haven’t been briefed. We do what everyone else is doing, abandon our cars in the street and walk to the start.

Next problem, the loo queues. These are long, which is normal of course but you’d think they have managed to hire more than around 20 portaloos for the 5,000 competitors. L and I queue together but she aborts when it becomes apparently it’s going to take an age and her start is 30 minutes before mine. A lot of people seem to come to the same conclusion perhaps thinking the lake itself is a better option.

In T1 the usual procedure is to set up your towel, bike shoes and socks on the ground with your helmet on the bike with your gloves, sunglasses etc. Not today. Anybody who did this would have come back from their swim to find that an official had scooped up all their neatly laid out kit and dumped it into their blue bag. This appeared to be a new rule to everybody.

Next its time to find bag number 3 (the green one), this was by the lakeside and was for you to put in any dry kit you took off which would then be whisked to the finish line for you. As I got ready for my swim I packed my green bag and initially put my phone, wallet and keys in it. Then I change my mind, removing my phone, a bit of cash and the car key, instead attaching these to my bike. What a good call this turns out to be.

Given that there were no stick on number tattoos I was expecting to get numbered up for the swim in the old school way with a marker pen but no. Seemingly the budget didn't stretch to marker pens either.

The swim is good, I manage to front crawl almost all of the 1500m even the bit that was so shallow I had to keep my arms bent at the elbow to get a stroke in. My swim time was 33:32 which I am more than pleased with.

Then comes a 400m plus run uphill to T1, then the same again downhill once you’ve got your bike and deposited everything else (wetsuit, swim hat, goggles, towel etc) in your blue bag which you need to carry with you, whilst wearing bike shoes and cleats before handing it to someone just before the mount line. All very odd and another first, at least regards any triathlon I’ve done. Like your green bag, your blue bag will then be transported to the finish and will therefore be waiting for you after the race.

Dozens of people tried to argue with the officials before the start (me included) that not only was running 400m downhill in cleats with a bike in one hand and a heavy bag in the other dangerous but also pointless. Almost everybody was parked up a Roundhay so would then have to bike back from Leeds carrying their bags. Why not leave everyone's wetsuits here in T1, like in a normally triathlon... No, apparently that’s not allowed.

Consequently my time for T1 was an eye-watering 11:23, at least I know what I need to practice for next year e.g. running 400m uphill barefoot and running 400m downhill in cleats with a bike in one hand and a bag in the other.

After a tricky uphill bike mount we are on to what proves to be a fun and fast bike course bar the odd pothole. It’s busy though, so you needed to have your wits about you but those trying to pass you would helpfully loudly shout ‘on your right’ at you even when there was no ‘right’. So at least you knew who to stick two fingers up to. The course was basically a downhill adrenalin rush into Leeds, then a U-turn back largely uphill to Roundhay before U-turning back to descent once more into Leeds, all on closed roads. About half way through I pass L who had started before me and pause for a brief chat, although she doesn't really seem in the mood. Deep in concentration I guess.

I wheel into T2 in 01:16:45, well not really wheel as the dismount line was ridiculously early so it turned into about a 150m run. Everybody had grumbled about the awful condition of T2 yesterday. Gravel, litter, puddles, it was so bad you almost expected to see a few discarded hypodermic needles. Needless to say nobody was going to run into T2 barefoot which would have been the norm for a lot of the better triathletes.

Then on to the run which is five laps around the city centre. Now I’ll just be happy to get through this without my calves popping. I had pre-warned L that I’ll probably be waiting in the St Johns Ambulance somewhere on the run course but it doesn’t happen and I complete the course. Five laps was a bit repetitive and it did make it very congested but on the positive side it enabled you to make the most of the crowds.

I cross the line clocking a pedestrian 53:55 for the run and 02:58:56 overall. Well pleased. It’s been a brilliant course and it’s great to finish on the blue carpet just like the pros.

It’s also been a good event for spectators who have turned out in good numbers. That I guess is the main thing but everything else, from the lack of clarity in the original race instructions to the shambolic registration procedure yesterday had been poor and it was just about to get worse, much worse.

The next cock-up was relatively minor, with the finish chute going to the right of the course which meant that once you’d finished you had to cross over the run course to reach the post-race area whereas if it had gone left, this wouldn’t have been the case.

I skip past the first few stalls offering pre-race food as all they had on them were slices of orange and bananas cut in two. These are more during-race food and I needed something more substantial but this meagre selection turned out to be it. There were apparently some chunks of bagel but I obviously missed that in my search for the non-existent flapjacks etc. I reach the Erdinger Alkoholfrei which appeared to be at the exit of the post-race area, so I turn around and go back for another look. I have my medal (sponsored by the Poundshop I think) but I don’t have my goody bag or my finishers' t-shirt.

A second lap of the stalls produces the same result. No goody bag, no t-shirt. Then I see a large queue outside a little tent perhaps this is where the t-shirts are. No, this is the baggage collection tent but not only do they have no t-shirts they have no bags either.

The overtly complex bag system together with too few too small vans had led to a very predictable outcome. In fact it is impossible to imagine how someone could have thought those small vans could transport 12,000 bags and even if they had, that a pint sized marquee could hand them out. It was never going to work, it didn’t and they were told it wouldn’t before the start. However I don’t think anyone predicted just how badly it would go wrong and just how lucky the organisers were it didn’t get worse. Some lucky folk got their bags back within a couple of hours, some waited far longer, nearly half had to go back to Roundhay to collect theirs because half way through the day the organisers simply gave up trying to transport any more.

Many athletes were left stranded with no warm or dry clothes, no phones, no car keys, no post-race food and no money to buy anything. Only the weather saved the organisers from an even more terrible situation, if it had been cold and wet you would have a few thousand athletes risking hypothermia. I went back to T2 to get the long sleeved top I had biked in. Luckily I had that. Eventually the first aid tent started to hand out foil blankets as there weren’t any at the finish line (obviously). I went off to pay £25 for a race t-shirt.

Sadly many who wanted to see the Elite races couldn't as they were too busy tried to round up all their gear or worse, they had bought grandstand tickets that were in their green bags that hadn’t arrived.

The stupid thing is that there was no need for the blue or green bags at all. If they'd just let people leave their wetsuit etc and any clothes they take off pre-swim at T1 and then advised competitors to put any clothes they might want post-race in their black bag with their shoes at T2. Which they could have walked to from the finish and collect themselves. Simple. No baggage transfer needed at all.

We were some of the lucky ones, due to our early start times, we got our bags back. Although then we have to cycle back to Roundhay with the contents of all three bags. There were shuttle buses but these didn’t take bikes and there was no information about how to get back to Roundhay by bike (obviously) and no signs (obviously). A marshal advised cycling up the A58(M) dual carriageway... yeah right. The police in the end told us to bike back up the race route as the open race was now over and the elite races were only using one side of the road but even then another marshal tried to stop us.

What should have been a stunning event, which had already been undermined by the lack of pre-race information, had since turned into a plastic bag relay with some triathlon in the middle. Sadly I think we were just a cash cow to fund the elite races and the whole thing may have ended in a riot if they'd been anyone in an official capacity to riot at.

Several hours later an email arrived warning of a problem with the ‘Blue and green bag collection’. You don’t say...

Nottingham 10k

Practically everyone has banned L from running the Nottingham 10k today including her physio and her surgeon boss but she’s here on the start line with me, who no one has banned running but they should have done as I have a very slim chance of getting round in one piece. L claims it won't look much like a run, so she’s not going against anyone’s advice.

A rare feature for Nottingham is that this race had a city centre start from the Old Market Square and hopefully it will stay that way in future years as it made for a great atmosphere.

In 2007 the much loved fountains in the square were flattened so that the space could be used for (money spinning) ‘events’ but it has taken nearly ten years for a major running race to be held here. Although I'm sure the real reason the square was changed was because they got fed up with students tipping washing up liquid in to the fountains which caused soap bubbles to go everywhere. Oh what fun we had.

So for once the square hasn’t got a giant Ferris wheel, a skating ring or the dreaded beach on it, it has us.

Then we’re off and heading to the Park which means some nice hilly bits and yes, it's quite a cheeky little course making the most of the undulations of Nottingham. I start quite well, at a fairly good pace and pain free, although so well strapped up that if I stop they may slap me in a pyramid.

From the Park it’s round the back of the Railway Station and then onto the Embankment. The water station is at 5k on the Embankment and I almost get there. The calf goes pop at about 4.8k with about 22 minutes on the clock, so I was happy with that. Oh well, race over and I decide the walk the rest of the way. Sadly this gives me far too good a view of the runner receiving CPR from fellow runners with just 500m to go.

By the time I have collected by bag from the luggage van I have already received a text message congratulating me on my time of almost 1:08. Hmmm, isn’t it about time that automated results systems allowed you to give them your target time, so rather than congratulations I would have ‘Commiserations on your appalling time of almost 1:08 ps how's the calf?’ instead. Entirely optional of course.

L comes in barely two minutes behind, also hobbling but looking far less injured that me.

The race t-shirt isn’t bad but doubt I’ll wear it much, it has far more illustrious race wear ahead of it.

Tour de Yorkshire

It is a mere 2 degrees overnight and it’s fair to say a bit nippy in the tent but at least it isn’t raining for the sportive.

The professionals are doing Middlesbrough to Scarborough but sadly we’re just doing a small section of that. Well most of L’s 40km is actually on the route but my 85km includes a big loop round Dalby Forest which isn’t. Sadly a lot of these roads are narrow, mud strewn, potholed and spectator free. In fact even the 'on course' sections are largely spectator free as they have set us off so early that no one is in place yet unlike last year when the crowds were fantastic and cheered us up all the hills. Problem was us amateurs almost held the experts up when they caught us up, so I assume things had to change.

The event, while still good, isn’t a patch on last year’s in other ways too. The ‘toad in the hole’ and fresh flapjack feed station isn’t repeated and the finish takes place in total gridlock on the roads into Scarborough. As people head into town in their cars to watch the race the riders slalom in and out trying to reach the finish line. A tad dangerous I think. At least the last 2k is traffic free.

We all do get a crack at the Harwood Dale ‘King of the Mountains’ climb where David Millar has kindly set the time to beat at 3:57.

After the race I head back to camp. L has already finished, had an isotonic beer and gone off to see to the dogs.

Yorkshire Half Marathon

Today is the Yorkshire Half Marathon which is actually the Sheffield Half Marathon in disguise. I wonder if there’s some politics behind this name change because it is most definitely Sheffield's race and Sheffield really deserves full billing in the name given how well it is supported by the locals. Perhaps it is an attempt to distance itself from the famous water debacle of 2014 after which the organisers and the race route all changed but half the point of these types of events is to promote the name of the city they are in.

It’s just me running today as L has decided that the combination of a heavy cold and her various injuries is too much to drag around the course. So the dogs get a reprieve from being home alone and get to join in with the supporting.

As with most of these big races, the toilets were a slight problem. There probably were enough but as they were widely scattered which meant queues snaking all over the place.

The start is right in the city centre on Arundel Gate and the finish is on Pinstone Street but from there there’s an out and back on the always well supported Eccleshall Road with a mid-race loop taking you up to the edge of the Peak District. This is the interesting bit.

Interesting in that is consists of a five and a half mile hill taking you all up to the village of Ringinglow. It was a long challenging climb that turned many grown men and women to tears. I quickly realised that it’s a good job that L had opted out of doing this with her dodgy ankle but personally I loved the new cheeky course but then I do love a bit of a hill. Note to self: I must try and take it easy given the state of my calves.

The support from the people of Sheffield was amazing and there were crowds nearly all the way along the route. Although the macabre bunch did seem to congregate most greatly on the hilly bits but they were all very vocal in cheering us up it and apparently the view from the top makes it all worthwhile. Yeah, whatever. Ask me again later.

Post-hill it’s largely flat across the moors before we start plummeting down the other side

back to Sheffield. It is here that I latch on to the 1:45 pacer, who is evidently planning a negative split given how far he is off his target pace. Clearly he’d done the hill at a steady pace and now he set off like a greyhound on steroids. I simply couldn't keep up with his downhill pace as I'm not that hot at plummeting but I (almost) managed to keep him in sight until the finish.

I often complain about not seeing the mile markers and I again struggle here. They were on the same sail banners as loads of sponsors’ logos and that’s probably why I missed half of them. There were also some showing a countdown from 10k which were very clear to see as they were twice the size of the mile markers. Wrong way round surely!

The water stations were excellent and had the entertaining addition of some large blue bins for target practice with your used bottle. They were actually so big it was difficult to miss.

I cross the line in 1:46 again, the same as in Cardiff, where I’m handed my medal and a florescent lime green monstrosity that appears to be masquerading as the race t-shirt. Not sure what am I supposed to do with that?

I am then reunited with L and the boys after waiting an inordinate time for my bag from the baggage bus. It may just have been my baggage lorry but it was utter chaos as they couldn't find loads of people's bags. This means my plan to have warm clothes ready had backfired massively but overall it was a great race.

World Half Marathon Championships, Cardiff

After arriving we wandered over to the Expo at the Cardiff Arena to collect our race numbers and size up the opposition. There is no sign of Mo though, who has clearly already done his sizing up.

Part of the race pack is a rain cape, which is a nice touch from the most expensive race I’ve ever entered, but we won’t be needing that we think on what is a gloriously sunny day. Well, that was Friday, Saturday (race day) was a different universe entirely consisting of leaden skies, rain and near gale force gusts of wind. So yes that rain cape came in very useful.

With a 2.10pm start (for TV one imagines), this was one of those races where you really don’t know what to do with yourself beforehand with far too much morning to play with and no idea what to eat or not eat. We get the campsite café to do us a bacon sandwich rather than a full breakfast baguette.

Then we stash the dogs in the car, put the rain capes on and walk to the start across Sophia Gardens where we could see some the elite teams warming up. In fact Doggo had tried to leg one of them up on his walk earlier. Bless him, always trying to help out.

The race started on time without incident unless of course you count Rhydian Roberts murdering Elbow’s ‘One Day Like This’ or you were eventual winner Geoffrey Kamworor who fell on the start line. Then there is a mass rustling of rain capes being removed as we all run off in pursuit and straight into a head wind. I’m sure none of us got anywhere near Geoff.

My physio has told me to start slowly to preserve my dodgy calves. She suggested nine minute miles, L protested that was a sprint and suggested something unprintably slower. First mile 8:10, damn. Second mile 8:00, damn. Then the 1:45 pacer chap overtook me. Third mile 7:54. I trust my legs that they know what they’re doing and just roll with it.

By now we are approaching with some trepidation the exposed Cardiff Bay Barrage given the increasingly strong wind and the rather large black cloud overhead. It is a time to start drafting behind others, so I find the taller runner I can and slot in behind him. Even he doesn’t shelter me much when the heavens open and we are all attacked by a horizontal rain storm propelled on gale force winds.

Thankfully it is brief and the weather soon returns to being simply miserable. I actually quite enjoy it, not getting injured yet is also a bit of a bonus. Each mile ticked off is greeted with glee as it’s one less to walk when the calves inevitably go. Not that it’s easy to see the miles markers to tick them off as the wind has flattened a fair few of them.

At eleven miles I realise that the calves perhaps aren’t going to go after all and it is also at this point that I can no longer hold on to the 1:45 pacer but he has done me a sterling job as I cross the line uninjured and happy in 1:46:20.

Having actually got quite warm on the run it is only now that I’ve finished that I discover how cold and wet it actually is. Thankfully they were belatedly handing out foil blankets, which they hadn’t initially been doing at the finish line. I could have done with another rain cape!

I start to head back to the car for warm clothes but realise that I have no chance of making it there and back before L finishes. I should probably have left a bag at the finish so I do what most people seemed to be doing, sheltering from the elements in the City Hall against the wishes of the doormen but who seemed to have given up trying to stop people.

I had arranged to meet L at meeting point ‘Z’ but they had only put ‘A’ to ‘E’ up, which wasn’t very helpful. Eventually though we are reunited and we hobble back to the campsite together.

Semi de Paris

So today it’s the Semi de Paris, as they call it around here. We are up for breakfast as soon as the breakfast room opens. It is surprisingly busy for so early on a Sunday but only one other person admits to having entered the race.

Then it’s back to Chateau de Vincennes along with 37,000 others. I have been given a start time around an hour ahead of L, so having found the baggage drop its soon time for me to head to the start.

The race itself starts off well. I settle into a steady 4:45 per km pace but after only 6k in disaster strikes and my troublesome left calf decides to become troublesome. It locks up and I am faced with another 15k of jog/walk/hobbling to the finish.

I suppose I theory this gives me more time to admire the sights of Paris but we don’t really go past many of them. We twice head through the Place de la Bastille, which is where the most vociferous crowds are and where we’ll probably be getting slaughtered later. There’s also a nice section down the side of the Seine but other than that it’s not even as good as a Big Bus City Tour.

As I head towards the finish we are urged to wave at a multitude of photographers. I wave at one, give a thumbs up to another and then perform a mobot for the third. 

I finish in 2:06. Shoot me now. I hobble off to get my bags back before finding a good spot to watch the rest of the runners come in and to decide who to invite back to the suite.

When L comes in she is a bit miffed as I still beat her time, even if you submit the generous head start I had. I invite her back to my suite figuring that might cheer her up,

Four Villages Half Marathon

This morning we get up early and drive over to Cheshire for the Four Villages Half Marathon. We head off through the overnight snow which has left a thin covering down our street. The organisers, Helsby Running Club, have repeatedly assured us that the race will go ahead claiming this year that full road closures and a gritter on standby will ensure this happens. Two out of the last three editions have been iced off including the only time we have entered in 2013.

We have our doubts on the drive as there is fresh snow everywhere you look except oddly once we cross the border in to Cheshire. Helsby itself appears completely snow free.

We have arrived super early to avoid being sent to the park and ride carpark a few miles away. We have dogs with us and want to get them close. We were prepared to park on the streets nearby but in the end we are early enough to get on the club house car park and almost front row. So the boys will have a great view of the start.

The race itself is all on lovely lovely tarmac and takes in the four villages of Dunham on the Hill, Mouldsworth, Manley and of course Helsby. Hence the name Four Villages. It is an undulating route but there are no massive hills to speak of. Obviously it is cold so I go for full leg and arm cover as well as gloves.

The race goes well, no injuries flare up and I get a decent pace on. Soon I’m at 10 miles where there is not only a timing clock and some chaps shouting ‘just a parkrun to go’ but also the prospect of it being almost downhill all the way to the finish. Yes, really. For once those marshals did not lie.

It has to be said the whole event runs like clockwork and I do a good time as well. My 1:44 is as good as at Derby in October, a bit short of Leicester but this is after all the first race of the season.

L also runs well, surprising herself. She even buys a souvenir t-shirt as one isn't included here. I still wear mine proudly from the cancelled race three years ago. We grab a bacon sandwich and crack open our flash of coffee to celebrate before heading back home.